3/31/06: Stacey Assigns "Save the Snails" To Brandon

Bearing in mind that Brandon's work schedule can be pretty hectic, I decided to give him a task that would only take a few moments of his time. Brandon, you are going to be making a prank phone call. In this phone call, you must claim you are taking donations for the World Wildlife Foundation (Or is it Federation?) and that there has been a tremendous buildup of salt in the Earth's soil that is killing off all the snails. Tell them you feel very passionately about the snails; tell them outlandish and absurd things like that you someday hope to see highway signs reading: "Slow, Snails Crossing," etc.
Requirements: You needn't record your conversation or anything, but if you wanted to do so, either by audio or video, then that would certainly be acceptable. You merely need to post a transcript of how the conversation went, as accurate as your memory will allow. Good luck.