3/31/2006: Brandon Accepts "Save The Snails"

I'm going to try to do this after work tomorrow. It should be an interesting call.

3/31/06: Stacey Assigns "Save the Snails" To Brandon

Bearing in mind that Brandon's work schedule can be pretty hectic, I decided to give him a task that would only take a few moments of his time. Brandon, you are going to be making a prank phone call. In this phone call, you must claim you are taking donations for the World Wildlife Foundation (Or is it Federation?) and that there has been a tremendous buildup of salt in the Earth's soil that is killing off all the snails. Tell them you feel very passionately about the snails; tell them outlandish and absurd things like that you someday hope to see highway signs reading: "Slow, Snails Crossing," etc.
Requirements: You needn't record your conversation or anything, but if you wanted to do so, either by audio or video, then that would certainly be acceptable. You merely need to post a transcript of how the conversation went, as accurate as your memory will allow. Good luck.

3/31/06: Stacey Has Completed "I Hope You're Good at Solitaire."

This task didn't turn out to be as bad as I thought it would, proving that there is a just and loving God somewhere out there, and spank him very much. At any rate, here's the photo of my solitaire onslaught.

Awesomeness, I know. You may have to look pretty closely to see my score of $215, meaning that I barely met my goal. I strive to always do the bare minimum in life. It took me three games to accumulate this much bling.

What am I going to buy with my imaginary $215, you ask? I think we all know it can only be a Bob Saget commemorative coin with certificate of authenticity and a limited edition carrying case. Oh yeahhhhhhhhhhh.

3/30/2006: Stacey Accepts "I Hope You're Good at Solitaire."

My God, this is going to suck. I'm terrible at solitaire, and worse at life.

You're on, though.

3/30/2006: Allison Assigns: "I Hope You're Good At Solitaire" To Stacey

This one's pretty easy.. maybe! I hope you're good at solitaire, because your task, should you choose to accept it, is to hone your solitaire skills (or lack there of) by winning $200.00 or more at Vegas Style Solitaire. Almost all computers have the basic Solitaire game built in. You simply change the options to Vegas style and keep track of your score by looking at the bottom of the screen.

Requirements:
Provide a screen capture of your game with the score at the bottom of the screen reading $200.00 or more. You may start over as many times as neccesary, but you must win $200.00.

(EDIT: I Just tried this and realized maybe 1000.00 is a bit much. let's go for 200.00 instead)
Here is what your options should be set to:

Good Luck!

3/30/2006: Allison Has Completed "Find That, Emo"

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Well, this task was fun!
Today I met my friend Katie at Best Buy for a little help here. I didn't want to look like a weirdo carrying around all those CDs by myself. I felt like I was being watched the whole time. It was a very sneaky situation. We were being watched like hawks by the Best Buy employees. Very scarey stuff. I looked even weirder cause I was carrying around my big camera and taking weird pictures of CDs. But somehow we pulled it off.

I took three pictures each of three different band's CDs: one picture of the CDs in their rightful location, one picture of the empty space created on the rack after we had taken them, and one picture of each new locale of the CDs.

The three bands I chose were Action Action, Atreyu, and Rufio. I hid the Action Action CDs in the World Music Section. The Rufio CDs were moved to the vacuum cleaner section, and the Atreyu CDs into an oven. Yup, an oven.

This makes 9 pictures. Rather than post all nine here, I have created a set on Flickr for the photos. In doing this, I created a new flickr profile so that if any other group members would like to use this site for rutless picture hosting, they may. I'll post the username and password in the forum.

Without further ado, I bring you Find That, Emo. Just click on each picture for a description.

3/29/2006: Allison accepts "Find That, Emo"

Shouldn't be too difficult. As long as I can find someone to go with me. This is brilliant by the way. The title is what gets me. Ah... emo. You should see my emo post from a few months ago on myspace.

I won't have any problems with this one. It's great.

3/29/2006: Seth Assigns "Find That, Emo" To Allison

Now anyone who really knows me knows that I hate nothing more than when I listen to a band, and then a year or two later they blow up and get all over T.V. Well, with this comes the stupid kids who claim to have lisened to the band from day one, but have really just heard them on MTV and saw that it was the cool thing to listen to. Now my task for you Allison, if you choose to accept it, is to go to Best Buy and hide all of the cds of any three bands listed below:
The Academy Is..., Taking Back Sunday, Panic! At the Disco, Motion City Soundtrack, Action Action, Armor for Sleep, Atreyu, Coheed & Cambria, The Early November, Funeral for a Friend, Hidden in Plain View, Less Than Jake, Rufio, Silverstein
Now for some ideas of where to hide the cds. Try the gospel section, possibly rap, or musical as well. Note that you are not confined to just the music section, but don't hide them in places that kids would be looking (i.e. Game Section). Just put them somewhere to make them hard for stupid little kids to find. Also, for people who are in to this music, I know I left out some good bands. Bands that I have listened to since my sophmore year in high school (3 years ago) that are now blowing up *cough* Fall Out Boy *cough*, but I feel as if they are past the point of no return.
Requirements: Be sure to list the bands that you pick and where you hid the cds. Also post a couple pictures of the places you hid them.

3/29/2006: Seth Has Completed "A Very Fortunate Task"

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Well around 3 o'clock I headed to China King Buffet to get my cookies. I ended up eating seeing as it was still considered lunch time and the buffet was relatively cheap. After finishing what I hope was as labeled on the buffet I went up to pay my bill. Before the lady at the counter rang me up I asked if it would be possible to get 30 fortune cookie. After repeating myself 3 or 4 times she finally understood that I was asking for 30 cookies, and for $3.00 I got them. Only thing is, the lady couldn't count, so instead of 30 cookies I got 32 plus the one I received with my meal. Please understand that any typos/grammatical errors in the fortunes are as is on the fortune and not a mistake of my own.
1. Your exotic ideas lead you to many exciting, new adventures!
2. You will step on the soil of many countries.
3. You will learn quickly, never fear.
4. You will have good luck and overcome many hardships.
5. Be calm when confronting an emergency crisis.
6. Courtesy pays.
7. Try your best to aviod arguing with your elders an superiors.
8. Do not wait for others to open the right doors for you.
9. Dispel negativity through creative activities.
10. Say hello to others. You will have a happier day.
11. A smooth long journey! Great expectations!
12. Courtesy is cumbersome to the that know is not.
13. Commitment is the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism.
14. Curiosity kills boredom. Nothing can kill curiosity.
15. You will always be successful in your professional career.
16. Do not seek so much to find the answer as much as to unserstand the question better.
17. Cut through organizational impediments and get some real work done
18. Your emotions are right on the surface, but that's okay.
19. Your sweetheart may be too beautiful for words but not for arguments.
20. Try your best to avoid arguing with you elders and superiors.(repeated)
21. Choose your own path.
22. A frivolous gift is a gift, nonetheless.
23. Past experience: He who never makes mistakes never did anything that's worthy.
24. You will have an exciting business adventure.
25. Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open mind.
26. Courtesy is a business asset--a gain and never a loss.
27. Your modesty will shame those with lesser knowledge.
28. Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
29. You are a man of rightousness and integrity.
30. A good laugh and a good cry both cleanse the mind.
31. Dare to dream, hope, believe, seek, feel, find, and lover.
32. You will soon take a very pleasant and successful trip.
Mine: Custom is a great guide.

Man that sucked to type out. Tyson, there were three with lucky number 13(2,3,and 15).

3/28/2006: Seth Accepts "A Very Fortunate Task"

Oh I wonder how I'll acquire 30 cookies. Looks like I'll be eating Chinese tomorrow.

3/28/2006: Stephen Assigns "A Very Fortunate Task" To Seth

I hope you like Chinese Food. I don't care how you get them, your task is to collect 30 fortune cookies, open them all, and post all the fortunes on here.
Requirements: Describe how you got the fortune cookies. Then you must take pictures of all of the unopened cookies, then a picture of all of them opened, and then a picture of all of the fortunes (a group shot, not individually). Try to make the group shot of the fortunes readable. Finally, you must type all of the fortunes in your post and number them as such:
1. You will find true love in a phone booth...
2. Tomorrow will bring something new...
3. Etc...

Good luck and remember this fortune if you eat any Chinese Food:

3/28/2006: Stephen Has Completed "Target Practice"

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Well, my car's starter gave out last weekend and I had to leave my car, along with my golf clubs, over at my brother's house. So this morning, when I got up, I had to go look in our storage building for the very first set I ever played with. I thought that would be a handicap, but I don't think it really was at all. I went to Riverside Recreation Complex at lunch and it took about a half of a bucket to hit the 40 yard sign 7 times. Then I just wailed on some old drivers that were in the bag with the rest of the balls. I think it confused the old fellow hitting balls to my left, as he couldn't seem to get his driver past the 40 yard sign. Maybe one day I'll come out here and the old range will be shut down and with dust blowing across the mats, I'll say... "Damn... for that one day... I was a legend." Ok, here's the video: Target Practice (4.02 MB)

That one was smoked

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3/27/2006: Stephen Accepts "Target Practice"

I think this should be a breeze, but you never know. I could be off and end up hitting until my back gives out. :)

3/27/2006: Tyson Assigns "Target Practice" To Stephen

Stephen must go to the driving range and hit from one of the mats. He must hit balls until he has hit the 40 yard sign three times.
Requirements: You must post a video of all three times that you hit the sign, along with any pictures that you can take.

3/27/2006: Tyson Cannot Complete "Ask Me About Chicken"

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I'm sorry to announce that i am going to be unable to complete the task assigned to me today. Nothing has come up, it's just that i feel like absolute crap. Not to get too much into it, but i'm throwing up and have a fever over 100. So, the last thing i wanna do is to go out in public and bock like a chicken. I don't know if that merits a refusal point or not, and don't really care. (haha) I'll be glad to complete the task on another day this week while someone else is doing theres, i just don't feel up to doing anything. My apologies for not being able to give you guys anything today, i just can't. Once again, i'll be glad to make it up some other time if that matters. I'm going to go to sleep now.

Protocol: Tyson gets a temporary pass for this task and the task must be made up within 4 weeks. Get well soon.

3/26/2006: Tyson Accepts "Ask Me About Chicken"

I wonder if you got this idea by thinking of my name....that would be mean. Just kidding. I accept the task. I'll have to have another cast member with me. That would be nice at least. Maybe i can meet Stephen for lunch Monday and we can do it then.

Cast Order For The Week of 3/27/2006

The first week was a fun one and the innovation and randomness of the tasks have set the tone. Once again, we are posting the order for next week a little bit early. Remember, the person who got Monday will be assigned "Ask Me About Chicken". Without further ado, here's the list:
Monday: Tyson
Tuesday: Stephen
Wednesday: Seth
Thursday: Allison
Friday: Stacey
Saturday: Brandon

Good luck to everyone!

3/25/2006: Allison assigns "Ask Me About Chicken" to ?

Hello Rutless.com-ers! It's time for me to assign my first task! I have to tell you, this is difficult. My creativity level went way down during my four years of hard studying in college. After discarding some ideas that included dressing in drag and things of that nature, I've decided to go with an easy one.

Your mission, whoever you are, should you choose to accept it, is to wear a sign around your neck (or somewhere obvious on your person) that says "Ask me about chicken" and when somebody asks you, you must reply by bokking like a chicken. Do your best chicken impersonation for at least a few seconds, but then you are free to explain to the person why you're acting like an idiot.

All you have to do is wear this sign into a public place for 20 minutes. Not too difficult, right? A grocery store type place would be best, but anywhere you have access to would be cool. You must be asked by at LEAST two people, or it doesn't count.

Requirements: Pictures required, at the bare minimum. I'd like to see a picture of you bokking, with obvious strangers looking on.

This is my first attempt at a task, hope you like it.

3/25/2006: Allison has completed "Little Extra Cheese On The Taco ?"

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Done. Today at approximately 4:15 p.m. I successfully went to a store to ask for help finding Vagisil. It wasn't half as embarrassing as I thought it would be. Actually, the only uncomfortable part was when I asked if I could take her picture. Then she wanted to know why I wasn't actually buying the product. But I explained why, so at least one more person out there knows about Rutless.com. Overall, this task was easy breezy.


Thanks to Diane at the Walgreens in Hickory.


Feminine products are fun!

3/24/2006: Allison accepts "Little Extra Cheese On The Taco ?"

good thing i'm not a feminist or something. i have no shame when it comes to stuff like this. no problem :)

3/24/2006: Seth Assigns "Little Extra Cheese On The Taco ?" To Allison

Inspired by one of the greatest movies of all time, Me Myself and Irene, this next task is going to taste a little like sourdough bread. Allison your task is to go to any store of your choice, and ask someone for help looking for and picking out a tube of Vagisil.
Requirements: If at all possible take pictures of this little adventure and tell about the reaction of the person that helped you find it.

3/24/2006: Seth Has Completed "Squat Thrust Frenzy"

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Man, squat thrusts really do wake you up in the morning. I woke up at 7:40 for my first set. When 9:40 rolled around I was in class. You might be wondering...Seth how did you do you squat thrusts if you were in class?...Well I just got up handed the camera to my professor and start doing them. I continued to do my thrusts every hour until 3:40. Here is a little video I put together for proof of my thrusting: Squat Thrust Frenzy

3/23/2006: Seth accepts "Squat Thrust Frenzy"

I guess I won't have to go to the gym tomorrow.

3/23/2006: Tyson Assigns "Squat Thrust Frenzy" To Seth

This was just the first thing that came to my head. Originally, i thought it might be a little mean. Then Seth called me and harassed me about my task yesterday. So, he's getting "Squat Thrust Frenzy." Every hour Seth will have to drop down and do 10 squat thrusts. No matter what time, or what he is doing. The moment he wakes up, he must do 10 squat thrusts. If he does not remember until 10 minutes after he wakes up, he has to do them then. Every one hour after he completes the first 10, he has to do another 10. For example, if he wakes up at 9:04, he has to do 10 at 9:04, 10:04, 11:04 and so on. If he wakes up and then remembers at 9:12, he has to do them then, at 10:12, and so on. Seth has class at 10 a.m. He is allowed to leave class and go outside and do them. For, i wouldn't want him to have to disrupt the class. That would be too extreme. However, he MUST do them some way or another at the designated time.
Requirements: This task is solely based on the honors system. There is no way that i can assure that he does all ten at every hour of the day. So, the cast and i are going to have to put our trust in him that he will complete all 10 at every hour. Seth has informed me that he will not be near a computer after 5 p.m. So, he is allowed to stop the task around that time and post his results. I will need at least some pictures at different times of the day of you doing them. Once again, we are going to trust that you complete all of your exercises, so please hold true to your acceptance. Assuming you do accept this task.

3/23/2006: Tyson Has Completed "Bleeding Carolina Blue"

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Let me start off by saying this has been possibly the worst day of my life. I'm just kidding, but it did suck pretty bad. The only reason being this was one of the most painful things i've ever had to do as a die hard Duke fan and as a sports fan in general. To wear the clothing of something that goes against everything that i stand for is more painful than you could ever imagine. Anyway, i started off my day by waking up to Brandon's phone call asking me to meet Stephen, Leslie, and himself at Ham's once again for lunch. Now, i had planned on sleeping as late as possible in order to avoid addiditional humiliation. They obviously weren't going to have any of that. So, i headed to Ham's expecting a good hazing from them as well as many other stares from the other customers. That's exactly what i got. At first glance each one of them burst into laughter. The meal went pretty normal and i managed to keep conversation away from my atire. Then my fellow cast member Seth deemed it necessary to call me and give me some additional hazing. After a good lashing from him, i went home and went about my day. At 3 o' clock i had to attend lacrosse practice at the local high school for which i am the assistant coach. I knew that this was going to be the worst part of the task. All of these kids knew very well that i was a die hard Duke fan, so it wasn't going to be easy to take a beating from them knowing how much trash i talk about Carolina. One by one they each showed up with some form of shock on their faces. I got plenty of comments along the lines of "nice pants, coach" or "what the hell are you wearing?" My personal favorites were ones that sounded like "ahhh, you've finally converted to a real team!" It was hard for me to keep my mouth shut and not blab my mouth about how much Carolina sucked, but that was not allowed. So, i had to do just that. I'm sure i'm never going to live this down from many of the cast members or the lacrosse players, but i guess that's something i'll have to deal with. I took a few pictures on a camera phone, but you're only going to get a couple, because i don't have the kind of money to be sending picture mail all the time.

The pajama bottoms
The hoodie and hat

3/22/2006: Tyson accepts "Bleeding Carolina Blue"

Even though this goes against everything i have ever stood for, it was such a good idea for a task that i could not reject it. Here goes nothing....

3/22/2006: Brandon Assigns "Bleeding Carolina Blue" To Tyson

Tyson is hands down the biggest Duke fan that any of us know. Along with being perpetually in love with Duke, he has a possibly more intense hatred for the North Carolina Tarheels. Therefore, tomorrow, Tyson must wear the following items, which will be prewashed for him: A Carolina Tarheels Hat, a Carolina Tarheels Shirt, and Carolina Tarheels Pants. In addition, he must not, at any point, brag on or support Duke and must make a good comment about Carolina during any sports related conversation.
Requirements: This task is in effect from the time he wakes up until 7:00pm EST. He must provide a thorough description of how wearing the clothes affected his daily routine and descriptions of any conversations where he had to praise Carolina. Tyson also needs to post some pictures of himself wearing the Carolina outfit.
Additional Discussion: For those who are unaware of the rivalry of Duke University and The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, then here is a site that can help explain: Deja Blue.

3/22/2006: Brandon Has Completed "Him Name Is Hopkin Brown Giraffe"

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I got up around 7:30 this morning and watched the movie "Derailed". I called my good friend "J Morgue" to see if he wanted to help me with the task. We set out about 9:15. I tried two or three different places, but no one could print and copy it correctly. I didn't have any success so I had to call Stephen to get a print out of the flyer and then I had the copies made around 10:26am. Since it was so close to Stephen's lunch break, we decided to eat at Ham's. We called Tyson and he showed up for lunch. Got done eating at 12:04pm, went straight to the truck and grabbed the flyers. Stephen had to head back to work, so Tyson agreed to accompany us. I thought I would spice things up by not only posting some on poles, but also putting them all over different things and handing them out to people. So the first person I came up on was a guy getting out of his car and I asked him if he would help me find my missing giraffe. After he got a good look at the flyer, I walked off as if nothing had ever been said. Trust me that I did not discriminate against anyone. If anyone walked by, they got a flyer. Old people, a hispanic, etc. I was determined to find Hopkin Brown. My favorite encounter was when a high school aged guy pulled up beside of me, with his stereo blasting. I handed him one and said that if he heard anything, I would appreciate it if he called us. In no particular order, we posted flyers in these various locations: Stop sign, pawn shop, back window of an SUV, in a newspaper stand, on the door at Harris Teeter, on a dumpster, on the front of a construction truck, Jayson's back, and my personal favorite: in the suction tube in the Bank of America drive thru. When I walked up to the drive thru, the lady at the window asked me if she could help me. I asked her if she could help me by putting a flyer up for my missing pet. She said, "Oh my god, that's awful". Then she told me to send it on in, so I put it in the tube and walked off.
When I first heard about it, I thought it was hillarious. I had a blast and look forward to more tasks of equal quality. Here are some pics from my cellphone that show the receipt from where I made the copies and several places where I put up the flyers.

Receipt for copies of flyer

Flyer in window at Harris Teeter

Flyer taped to Jayson's back

Flyer on car windshield

Flyer on a stop sign

Me putting a flyer in the window at a Pawn Shop

3/21/2006: Brandon Accepts "Him Name Is Hopkin Brown Giraffe"

I'm going to hand them out to people. The hard part for me will be getting them printed.

3/21/2006: Stephen Assigns "Him Name Is Hopkin Brown Giraffe" To Brandon

A few years ago, a kid from Seattle posted a flyer for his lost frog and it became an internet phenomenon. You can read more on Lostfrog.org. I have created a poster for a lost giraffe as a tribute, which Brandon will need to distribute around town.
Requirements: Print 20 copies of the following poster by any means necessary, then use something, such as a staple gun, to post them around town on telephone poles or anywhere that you can post them or pass them out to people. Take pictures of places where you have posted them or you handing them out to people, whatever.

3/21/2006: Stephen Has Completed "Alien Encounters"

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Ok, this task was pretty fun. I made two alien pictures, both related, and then inserted them into a letter I typed up in Microsoft Word. The letter and pictures are as follows:

To Whom It May Concern,

Yesterday, I was walking past the Burke County courthouse and noticed something white looking moving in the bushes. I approached cautiously, but then was surprised when out leapt two space aliens. They were very thin, with a white reptilian skin, and they had a sort of greenish glow around them. One of them appeared to wave hello to the civil war statue, but then the other spotted me and began to run. Fortunately I had my digital camera with me and was able to snap this photo of them right as they began to run away:


They ran around to the northwest side of the courthouse and I began running away, down the sidewalk towards Concord Street. As I fled, I heard a rather large roar and looked over my shoulder in time to see what appeared to be a “flying saucer” rising up into the air behind the courthouse. I raised my camera to snap a shot and at that very moment the saucer sped forward and hit the dome on the top of courthouse and knocked it clean off. Debris flew everywhere and the ship climbed quickly into the sky and out of sight. Here is the picture:


I looked everywhere for other witnesses, but there just didn’t seem to be anyone who saw the aliens. I think there must be a cover up in place because I went back by the courthouse today and the dome had been rebuilt overnight. I just thought you, the reporters, should know about all this. Thank you for listening.

Sincerely,

(Signature)

Max Merriweather

After drafting up the letter, I printed it and added a faux signature for Max Merriweather. Then Brandon and I went to the post office and dropped it in the mailbox at 6:17pm. The letter should be on its way to the local newspaper. Here are some pictures. The first is the printed letter and the second is a pic of me putting it in. I'll post a followup if anything happens as a result of this.

3/20/2006: Stephen accepts "Alien Encounters"

Now that is a random, yet cool task! I may just convince them that there really are close encounters of the third kind in Burke County.

3/20/2006: Stacey Assigns "Alien Encounters" to Stephen

After a rousing first task, I thought I'd pay Stephen back in kind. No, I'm not making him reimburse me for my display of opulence in giving away OVER SEVEN DOLLARS, but I am making him tap his creative well. Those of us who know Stephen know that he is sick as all hell when it comes to Adobe Photoshop. Having won multiple online contests for big-time websites such as IMDB, it goes without saying that he's absolutely crunktacular with the program. Therefore, Stephen, you will be fabricating pictures of "Extraterrestrial origin" and submitting them to the local newspaper. Granted, you only have one day to work on it, so it's a given that the pictures don't need to be absolutely stellar works of art. In fact, ideally they would be done in a mediocre fashion in order to emphasize the phoniness of the photographs.

Requirements: The pictures may include any type of image implying "celestial" activity, such as: Crop circles, animal mutilations, unidentified flying objects, little green men, or anything else you deem to be relevant. The number of photos you create is also based on your own discretion. If you can churn out five photographs, then go for it; if you only feel like doing one, then that's fine, too.

As for submitting them to the local paper, you may do so using an alias, pseudonym, or the name of someone you dislike. Again, it's your discretion. Obviously, you will need to include a statement to the publishers stating where and how you procured the photos. The pictures themselves and the statement to the newspaper editors should be displayed in your post upon completion. Also, since "The News Herald" will likely not respond, their involvement in the task is irrelevant.

3/20/2006: Stacey Has Completed "Drive-Thru Samaritan"

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I know what you're thinking. "Stacey, you went and paid for someone else's food!?!?!? Someone you didn't even know!?!?!?!?" Yup, sure did. And what does one do with such a blatant display of wealth? Videotape it, of course! Here's the high-res. for all you rich DSL users out there: High Res WMV (9.48MB), and here is the low-res. for all of you who are just too cheap to get off 56K: Low Res WMV (6.44MB).

Anyhoo, Stephen and I had a blast doing it (Making this video, that is), and I look forward to my upcoming tasks. Speaking of which, Stephen's task will be posted shortly after this one. As for the pictures, what ones I have on here are all you're getting for now. The first is a pic of me before going through the drive-thru and the second is the truck that was driven by the person whose dinner I paid for. I had some technical difficulties getting those mammajammas on here, so that's it for right now. As you have undoubtedly surmised, I am not the most computer proficient guy around (An honor held for Stephen, I think). At any rate, there'll be more next time. Now . . . on to Stephen's task . . .

3/19/2006: Stacey Accepts "Drive-Thru Samaritan"

First out of the gate! It's sure to be splendiferous. That's a made-up word, by the way.

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