4/30/2006: Stephen Accepts "Post Secret"

I hadn't heard of Postsecret.com until we started Rutless. Then one day I was searching for popular blogs and came across it, so yeah, I have looked over it before this task. I'm debating over what secret should be revealed right now.

Cast Order For The Week Of 5/1/2006

Here's the order for this week. The number of times that Seth has gotten Allison has to be a statistical anomaly.
Allison, being the last person this week, you have been accorded a special and important responsibility. Following this upcoming week, we will be having a week of Two Person Team Rutless. Allison, you will need to create a team task for a two person team. Like any other week, the team drawings will be done at random on Sunday, so you will not know which team you are creating the task for. Remember to assign a task that utilizes the fact that there are two people doing the task.
Two Person Team Rutless will occur every eighth week on Rutless.com, but before that happens, we have one more week of solo tasks to go, so here is the order:
Monday: Stephen
Tuesday: Stacey
Wednesday: Brandon
Thursday: Tyson
Friday: Seth
Saturday: Allison

4/29/2006: Tyson Assigns "Post Secret" To ?

You may or may not have heard of a site called www.postsecret.com. It's a site where you basically send in a secret that you've decorated on a postcard or made your own postcard. Most people just make their own postcard all together. You can get more information on the general idea of how to do this on the site. As well as the address to send it to. However, the secret must be true. It can be serious or funny. Which ever one you choose. You have to post the "Post Secret" on here. So, it's up to you what you want us to see. Most of you have probably been to the site before or at least heard of it, but it's purpose is basically just to get a secret off of your chest. The man who runs the site posts about 20 new "Post Secrets" every Sunday. The secrets are completely annonymous. So, no need to worry about other people finding out it's you. Just us. Try to think of this task not as an annoying one, but as a pleasant one. Try to be creative with how you express your secret. For, that is the key to getting it posted. Enjoy.
Requirements: You must post a legible scan or photo of the postcard.

4/29/2006: Tyson Has Completed "Kleenex Eating Champion"

10? 10?! 10?!?! Ninja, please! Ok, I guess I've gotten more talented as the time has gone by. My previous record of 10 just got OWNED! I had a few difficulties on some of them, but overall it was pretty smooth. Once I got going I knew 10 wasn't going to be a problem. Oh, and trust me...this is a lot harder then it looks. Anyway, check it out. It's some pretty impressive stuff. Go ahead and give my record a try! I dare you.
Kleenex Eating Champion (High: 22.9 MB)
Kleenex Eating Champion (Low: 6.9 MB)

4/29/2006: Tyson Accepts "Kleenex Eating Champion"

Awesome!!! It's about to go down Guiness style!....as in the record book...not the beverage.

4/28/2006: Stephen Assigns "Kleenex Eating Champion" To Tyson

Most people may not know that Tyson basically has no gag reflex. Back when we used to film funny videos, we did a video of Tyson eating 10 kleenexes in 5 minutes. Tyson, your task is to try and beat this record, by eating as many kleenexes as you possibly can in 5 minutes.
Requirements: You need to post the entire video of you eating the kleenexes.

4/28/2006: Stephen Has Completed "The Cat's Meow"

Well, this didn't turn out all that great, but anyways, here's what happened. The main dialogue occured when I asked my co-worker Tom to stop by so I could thank him for the Egg McMuffins that he brought in for everyone at work. At this point, I began interjecting meow into the conversation. You can listen to it here, though he didn't say much, as he was laughing mostly: Stephen's Meow (264 KB)

4/27/2006: Stephen Accepts "The Cat's Meow"

I should be able to pull this off. We shall see.

4/27/2006: Brandon Assigns "The Cat's Meow" To Stephen

If you are familiar with the movie "Super Troopers", you may remember the scene at the start of the movie, where the officer is inserting a cat meow into his normal sentences, in an effort to confuse and annoy someone he pulled on the side of the road. Stephen, your task is to record a conversation that you have with someone during the day, in which you insert meow frequently into the conversation.
Requirements: An audio file would be the best, along with a description of what happened.

4/27/2006: Brandon Has Completed "He-Man"

After he got off work, Stephen drove us up Highway 181, just a little bit past the Brown Mountain Lights overlook and I climbed the highest hill on the side of the road and stood out on a really cool looking rock outcrop. Stephen filmed me as I screamed "By the power of Greyskull, I have the power!" You can watch the video by clicking here: He-Man Copycat (4.5 MB)

Brandon Imitates He-Man

4/26/2006: Brandon Accepts "He-Man"

I hope I look good in a loincloth!

4/26/2006: Allison Assigns "He-Man" To Brandon

Hee Hee this one makes me laugh. Brandon, you seem like the type of guy who probably watched He-Man as a kid. Your task is to go to the highest point you can find, be it mountain, hill or the top of a building, dressed as close to He-Man as possible. There, you are to reach one fist into the air (or a fake sword if you have one already) and yell "I have the power!!"
Requirements: Go to high place, dressed, and yell. Try to have someone take a picture and/or video. You DO have the power.

4/26/2006: Allison Has Completed "High Fives to all the Guys"

I'm afraid there isn't really much to tell with this one... I worked at my job from 8:30 to 5:00 and pretty much stayed at my desk all day. If any guys came around to talk to me, i high-fived them. Normally I know every guy that comes by. Actually today some random older gentlemen dropped into The Grotto and was asking me about what I was working on. I got him to guess which state the data I was working on was from. When he finally guessed it, I gave him a high five. I did go to the mall for an hour or two earlier with a coworker. But this was actually for work. We were checking prices, so I wasn't really talking to anyone. Then, after work, I just went home. Sorry that's all there is.

here's a picture of Stephen giving me a high five:

4/25/2006: Allison Accepts "High Fives to all the Guys"

This is gonna suck. My office is mostly men. Yay. Here's a question for ya: I'm just to high five them the first time I see them, right?

4/25/2006: Seth Assigns "High Fives to all the Guys" to Allison

Allison your task for tomorrow is to that throughout the entire day every guy you come in contact with you must give them a high five. Notice I said “guy” and every one of them as well. No girls allowed.
Requirements: I'm not sure if pictures or video will be necessary, though they would be appreciated; please be honest. Try to keep count of how many you high five and describe anything interesting that happens as a result. You can stop at 7pm.

4/25/2006: Seth Has Completed "Homework Pass"

Well it was about 5 o'clock before I made it around to doing Stacey's homework for him, but it worked out because I just got out of Discrete Math so my brain is up and running.

#1
PROBLEM: Raul can plumb a house in 48 hrs. Mira can do the same job in 36 hrs. How long would it take if they worked together?
ANSWER: Man, this is easy enough. The solution would be (48+36)/2. Therefore, your answer would be 42 hours because even when you are faster than the person you are helping you can't help but take the time to make fun of them. This making the job take longer than the fastest person.

#2
PROBLEM: A passenger car travels 30 km/h faster than a delivery truck. While the car goes 400 km, the truck goes 259 km. Find their speeds.
ANSWER: Yet again...too easy. The solution would be (400-30)/259. Therefore, the answer would be 1.429km/h for the truck and 31.429km/h for the car. See what the didn't tell you is that the truck driver weighs about 600lbs. and busted the tires on the truck. Also, the car was being driven by a monkey.

#3
PROBLEM: Wanda walked 234 km in 14 days. At this rate, how far would she walk in 42 days?
ANSWER: Moving along smoothly. The solution to this is (14/42)*234, making the answer 78. Wanda was picked up by a trucker going in the opposite direction and then murdered.

#4
PROBLEM: To determine the number of trout in a lake, a conservationist catches 112 trout, tags them, and throws them back into the lake. Later 82 trout are caught; 32 of them are tagged. Estimate the number of trout in the lake.
ANSWER: Last one! Unable to answer this one. Seems as thought there was a big fishing tournament held on the same day that the conservationist went back.

Well Stacey I hope this helps you out with you homework. If you need anything else just ask.

4/24/2006: Seth Accepts "Homework Pass"

This shouldn't be too hard to complete.

4/24/2006: Stacey Assigns "Homework Pass" to Seth

As those who know me will be able to attest, I am a math retard. Despite my SAT score (1510), I really am awful at it. Seth OWNS at math, so I thought I'd get him to do some problems for the "remedial" math class I'm taking. Have fun laughing at how easy they are, guys. Then laugh even harder because I don't know how to do them.
Requirements: Do my homework and paste your answers on the site so everyone can see how mathematically inept I am. I'll email you some of the problems.

4/24/2006: Stacey Has Completed "Smile, You've Got French's."

Well, there really wasn't a lot to this task. The only decision to be made was where to commit my act of vandalism. Stephen had the perfect place in mind. "Shadowline." All I know about this locale is that it's a women's underwear factory, which sounds cool to me. I know I'd want to have a humorous website to go home to after a hard day of crafting women's lingerie. At any rate, check these mofos out:

The MustardThe Final Result
Also, I'd like for everyone to know that I just met Shelden Williams, Sean Dockery, and Lee Melchionni from the Duke Blue Devils. I talked to Melchionni for a few minutes and all that can really be said is that he is the man. It's a shame Redick wasn't there.

4/23/2006: Stacey Accepts "Smile, You've Got French's."

Although I feel less than stellar at the moment, I accept this task. I thought really hard about whining, complaining, and making an emo post about my lame life that no one would care about and then decided against that. You're welcome.

That said, I am lame. Watch out, parking lots!

Cast Order For The Week Of 4/24/2006

Tyson and I were assisted by two lovely ladies in this installment of the name drawing, so you can blame them for anything bad that happens this week.
Monday: Stacey
Tuesday: Seth
Wednesday: Allison
Thursday: Brandon
Friday: Stephen
Saturday: Tyson

4/22/2006: Tyson Assigns "Smile, You've Got French's" To ?

This task should be a pretty easy one for whoever gets it. Their task should they choose to accept it is to get a bottle of mustard and write "Rutless.com" in a parking spot. You can pick a high profile or a low profile area to do this. Preferably, somewhere that it will be seen quick enough before it is washed away.
Requirements: You must take a picture of the parking spot before and after. You should also take a picture of the place where you are doing this as well.

4/22/2006: Tyson Has Completed "Urban Legends"

You may already be asking yourself, why is Stephen making this post? The answer is, Tyson is no longer with us. Today's task has claimed his life. How? Well, we'll get to that in a moment. Tyson began his task by trying to summon Bloody Mary. The legend says that you have to go into a dark bathroom and spin around 3 times while chanting "Bloody Mary". When you flip the light switch on, Bloody Mary is supposed to appear in the mirror and then kill you. Tyson did this. As soon as the light came on, there she was, with scaly green skin that literally screamed for lotion. Her hand flew out of the mirror and grabbed his head. I snapped a quick shot and then ran to pull him away. Unscathed, but a little bit shaken, Tyson proceeded to attempt the pop rocks and coke legend. By the way, you all don't have to worry about Bloody Mary anymore, I took her out with a 12 gauge, Resident Evil style. Anyways, Tyson probably should have been more cautious when the Bloody Mary legend ended up true, but he went ahead and loaded his mouth with a full pack of strawberry pop rocks and then downed about a half a bottle of coke. At first he looked a little bit confused and burped a few times. Thirty minutes later, a Catholic Priest was giving his headless body the last rites. We are looking for a new cast member to fill his shoes, so if you are interested, you can email me at the email in my profile.
If you think you can stomach the photos of how Tyson left this world, click the image below:

4/21/2006: Tyson Accepts "Urban Legends"

Shouldn't be a problem. I'd be glad to solve these.

4/21/2006: Allison Assigns "Urban Legends" To Tyson

Tyson, I hope you don't scare easily. This one might get ya! But it's minimal effort. It is a two-part task. Your mission is to find out the TRUTH about 2 Urban Legends. The First is "Pop-Rocks and Coke". You must find Pop-Rocks (any flavor, but strawberry is the yummiest) and put them on your tongue, then drink a can of Coke. The legend says that if you drink Coke with Pop-Rocks you will die. Your mission is to find out if this is true.
The second part of the task is Bloody Mary. You must go into a bathroom, public or private (your choice) and turn out all the lights. Then you have to look into the mirror and say "Bloody Mary" 3 times. The legend says that when you do this, the ghost of bloody Mary, who died a long time ago for some reason (not the queen mary), will come out of the mirror and murder you. You need to let us know if that's true or not.
Requirements: Tell the story. What happened when you did these. Provide photographic proof of the Pop-Rocks/Coke incident. It'll be pretty hard to get pics of the Bloody Mary one, but try. Good Luck.

4/21/2006: Allison Has Completed "It Came From 1982"

Well I'll tell you, this one was not as easy as it would seem. Last night immediately after reading the assignment, I went through every coin I had in my collection (my wallet, and my change dump). After looking for about 3 minutes I successfully came up with a 1982 Penny, Quarter, and Dime. I thought to myself "Piece of Cake". Turns out it wasn't so much a piece of cake. More like a grain of wasabi powder or something else really impossible to find. Today at work I asked pretty much everyone if they had any 1982 nickels. I got all No's. I even scavenged through several absent people's coin dumps. I even went through Dr. Kenny's super secret stash. No luck. I was starting to lose hope. Then at lunch me and the roomie had to go home to pick up my cell phone which I left at home, and she was kind enough to let me look through her stash. *Success!* After going though about 90 million coins in her stash, I found it. That one, pristine, 1982 Nickel.

Here's the photoset.

By the way, it is nearly impossible to take good pictures of the dates on coins.
This took a LOT of tries.

4/20/2006: Allison Accepts "It Came From 1982"

Even though this task was meant for Tyson, it is rightfully mine since I was next to go. So I'm accepting it. And I shall rule it. I got this. NO problem.

4/20/2006: Brandon Assigns "It Came From 1982" To Allison

You must find the following four coins: a penny, a nickel, a dime, and a quarter, all from the year of your birth.
Requirements: You must provide 5 photos: One of you holding all 4 coins in your hand and then 4 individual shots of each coin that clearly show the year on them.

4/20/2006: Brandon Has Completed "My Lovely Little Lump"

Stephen and I went to film this one. I was about to do it at the hispanic soccer game at Freedom Park, but I decided to do it in front of a brightly lit Century 21 sign next to the main highway. Here is the video:
Brandon's Lovely Little Lump (1.6 MB)

4/19/2006: Brandon Accepts "My Lovely Little Lump"

I didn't see this one until 10:30 at work. I had a big headache and went to bed as soon as I went home. I will do it.

4/19/2006: Stacey Assigns "My Lovely Little Lump" to Brandon

This one will be pretty easy for Brandon, I think. It's really quite simple, sais. "Sais," as those of you familiar with Mid-World argot will know, is not a typo. At any rate, Brandon, your task is to booty dance in public. Easy, no?
Requirements: Pictures and/or video would be nice, but seeing as a couple of my last posts have been without such tomfoolery, it is certainly not required. Have fun, Brandon.

4/19/2006: Stacey Has Completed "Duke Nukem."

Alrighty fellas, let me apologize in advance for another boring post. Despite my efforts to procure an issue of "The News Herald" via scanner, I was paperless. At any rate, I picked up a copy of "Star News," the newspaper local to the Wilmington area. It was beautiful. By that I mean, it was devoid of grammatical and mechanical errors. Even I couldn't find one. 'twas remarkable. So yeah, I'm not sure what Duke Conover, the "editor" of The News Herald, does everyday, but it's certainly not "edit." I seriously think he's probably the worst editor in existence. I'd like to punch him in the face about as much as I'd like to sleep with Wonder Woman, which is to say quite a damned lot. My favorite News Herald headline is probably "New Law Serves Duel Purpose." Can you spot the error in that last sentence? If not, go away--we don't want you reading our page. I wish I had made that up. I wish to God I had.

Duke really does need to be nuked. Or educated.

4/18/2006: Stacey Has Accepted "Duke Nukem."

Yeah, so I'm in Wilmington, NC on vacation right now so I can't exactly get my hands on a copy of The Snooze Herald. However, in my ongoing war against grammatical errors, I must fight the battle on all fronts. I shall therefore find a Wilmington newspaper and bust out my red pen--T.A. Fossett style.

4/18/2006: Seth Assigns "Duke Nukem" To Stacey

As for anyone living in Morganton, North Carolina know that the local news paper isn't exactly well written, and as for the people who know Mr. Shores (Stacey) knows that there is nothing that he hates more than grammatical errors (which have probably plagued this post). Stacey, your task for tomorrow is to buy a copy of The News Herald, and edit it. You can give proof of this through pictures or just typing up the mistakes and then showing how they should have been written. Now some people might be wondering why the editor of the paper himself doesn’t do this. Well, who knows? That might explain the name of the task.

4/18/2006: Seth Has Completed "Unlucky Frank"

I'm sorry to say that while I have completed the task, the comic well is kind of crappy. I'm not really all that imaginative when it comes to stuff like this but I did try. It is only 12 frames long because I really didn’t have as much time during class as I had originally planed. Here is the link to the comic, enjoy!

4/17/2006: Seth Accepts "Unlucky Frank"

I must warn everyone about my horrible drawing skills. Also, my lack of an imagination. Oh well I have 7 hours of class to perfect it.

4/17/2006: Stephen Assigns "Unlucky Frank" To Seth

Knowing that you have a long day of classes ahead of you tomorrow, I want to give you a task to pass the time. While in your more boring classes, you must doodle a comic strip entitled "Unlucky Frank". I would like for the final, entire comic to be at least 20 "frames" long, if not more. Make it as funny as you possibly can.
Requirements: After you have completed the comic, take high quality pictures of it and post them on here as a Flickr set. You don't need to make frame by frame pictures, just enough pictures so that we can easily read the comic.

4/17/2006: Stephen Has Completed "Mr. Stinklepuss"

Man, this proved to be a kind of difficult task. I was working in Morganton and around lunchtime I was called to go into the Hickory office, so on the way, I stopped by the Morganton McDonald's near I-40, exit 105. I was just going to do my task later on, but I thought I might as well do it to the drive thru server, just in case I didn't have much time later. So, after I received my food, I let loose. I didn't have my camera with me at the time, but you can hear my account of the situation by clicking this link: Mr. Stinklepuss Part 1 (281 KB)
After work, I was invited by my boss to go play some golf at Orchard Hills, so I went there. Afterwards, I met Tyson and Brandon at Tokyo Diner for a late dinner. Brandon brought my camera and we headed off to Flick Video. I went in and bought a DVD and then before leaving, turned the camera on under the edge of the counter and recorded as I asked the cashier if she would like to meet Mr. Stinklepuss as well, though the space on camera's card ran out rather quick, so it is a very short clip. You can listen to it by clicking this link: Mr. Stinklepuss Part 2 (81 KB)

4/16/2006: Stephen Accepts "Mr. Stinklepuss"

I actually really didn't want to get this one. I think I used up all my luck in golf earlier today, so here I am, about to ask people if they want to meet Mr. Stinklepuss.

Cast Order For The Week Of 4/17/2006

Here's the order for this week.
Monday: Stephen
Tuesday: Seth
Wednesday: Stacey
Thursday: Brandon
Friday: Allison
Saturday: Tyson

4/16/2006: Monthly Update

The first 4 weeks of tasks have now passed on Rutless.com
Each 4 weeks, aka a month, we will post a summary of the past month's tasks and any follow-up information about those tasks.

Tasks In Chronological Order:

Week 1
3/20/2006: Stacey Has Completed "Drive-Thru Samaritan"
3/21/2006: Stephen Has Completed "Alien Encounters"
3/22/2006: Brandon Has Completed "Him Name Is Hopkin Brown Giraffe"
Update: About two weeks after this task was completed, Stephen came across one of the flyers, which had been attached to a light pole at city hall. It appears that this was the flyer that was posted on the door at Harris Teeter.
3/23/2006: Tyson Has Completed "Bleeding Carolina Blue"
Update: On the very day that Tyson had to do this task, Duke was knocked out of the Men's NCAA Tourney. Coincidence? Maybe. Maybe not.
3/24/2006: Seth Had Completed "Squat Thrust Frenzy"
3/25/2006: Allison Has Completed "Little Extra Cheese On The Taco?"

Week 2
3/27/2006: Tyson Cannot Complete "Ask Me About Chicken"
Update: This task was postponed due to Tyson being sick on that day. Tyson is allowed to make it up within 4 weeks, which would be a deadline of Monday April 24th, to avoid a refusal point.
3/28/2006: Stephen Has Completed "Target Practice"
3/29/2006: Seth Has Completed "A Very Fortunate Task"
3/30/2006: Allison Has Completed "Find That, Emo"
3/31/2006: Stacey Has Completed "I Hope You're Good At Solitaire"
4/1/2006: Brandon Has Completed "Save The Snails"
Update: Brandon later talked to "Albert" and he laughed at the whole concept.

Week 3
4/3/2006: Allison Has Completed "No Cell"
4/4/2006: Tyson Has Completed "Supermarket Sweep"
4/5/2006: Seth Has Completed "Name That Tune"
4/6/2006: Brandon Has Completed "You Are So Beautiful"
4/7/2006: Stacey Has Completed "Road Rage"
4/8/2006: Stephen Has Completed "Mad Skills"

Week 4
4/10/2006: Stephen Has Completed "Treat Yourself"
4/11/2006: Allison Has Completed "Lottery Of Indigestion"
4/12/2006: Seth Has Completed "Discrimination Is Wrong"
4/13/2006: Brandon Has Completed "Milly Vanilli Style"
4/14/2006: Tyson Did Not Complete "Photo Scavenger Hunt"
Update: This was the first refusal point given out to a cast member. This task was added to the refusal pool and Stacey chose a task from the refusal pool when no task was posted for him.
4/15/2006: Stacey Has Completed "Tropical Fruit First Timer"

Current Refusal Point Standings:
Stephen: 0
Tyson: 1
(1 Postponed Task Still Pending, Due on 4/24/2006)
Brandon: 0
Stacey: 0
Allison: 0
Seth: 0

4/15/2006: Stacey Assigns "Mr. Stinklepuss" to ?

You must go up to a couple of people you don't know and ask them if they would like to meet "Mr. Stinklepuss". You must ask them using a very creepy voice as well.
Requirements: You should post a written description of what happened. You should also post one of the following: pictures, audio, or video of you performing the task.