7/22/2007: Stephen Assigns "This Is... Bill" To The Cast of Rutless

Your task is to film a stunt/skit for "This Is... Bill".
Just in case you have never watched This Is... Bill, here is the link to the videos: This Is... Bill Videos
This Is... Bill is the flagship of the Billtvshow.com website and original reason for the site. It is a Jackass style show that we produced back in the early 2000's. We have been talking about doing a third season for a long time and we even have filmed some good stuff for a third season, but we need a lot more and things have grown stagnant. Thus, I am throwing this task out there. Everyone on the cast must film a This Is... Bill style skit or stunt. If it is good enough, it could be featured in the third season. Suggestions: Public pranks, physical harm, hilarious acting. Watch the videos for ideas. (We've got eating skits covered for this season btw ;P)
Try not to duplicate or imitate our old ideas and try to be fresh and original, but within the Bill style. All submissions obviously must be video. Don't do anything to risk your well-being or life and we are not responsible for any injuries, the decision on what you do is ultimately up to you. All individuals involved must submit a video in which they are a star of the stunt or skit. Therefore, if you happen to film this along with other Rutless cast members, you will need to film a skit/stunt for each of you, so we should end up with 6 videos in the end. Have fun and don't die! You have two weeks to complete this one (August 4th).

7/20/2007: Stephen Assigns "Telephone, Telly Font" To Todd

You must play a game of telephone with at least 6 people, including yourself.
The game is telephone. All the players get in a circle. The first person has a phrase and they whisper it to the next person and it continues around the circle until it gets to the last person and they must then say the phrase out loud. Odds are, it will have changed since the start and that is the fun of the game. You must use the 5 phrases that I provide you. A few things to remember: Whispers only. Only whisper the phrase once to the next person. Be ready to write down the resulting phrase so that you can post it here for us later. Post reactions and possibly audio if you can.
The 5 phrases you must use:
1. Mahogany tables don't look good painted fuschia.
2. Canteloupes are good for you in the morning.
3. Storm surge is up to over sixteen feet.
4. Cabin fever is contagious in many parts of the southeast.
5. My midichlorian count is well over a thousand parts per million.

7/18/07: Allison Assigns "Michael Vick" to Nathan

Your task is to make a fictional animal fight at a fictional location in Hudson, and to pass out fliers to a few people to let them know about your fictional fight. Michael Vick was recently indicted for owning a house where dog fighting took place, so it inspired me.

Your animals can be anything you want. Cats, Zebras, Ligers, or something you make up will do just fine. Just make sure you use a fictional location in Hudson (the town where Nathan lives) so that people don't try to arrest anyone :)

Post a copy of your flier for us to see and tell us people's reactions to this animal fight.

7/17/2007: Marianne Assigns “Puppet Paparazzi” to Allison

You can make a puppet out of a sock, paper bag, or whatever but try to make it with eyes, nose, mouth, hair, etc. You may opt to make it glamorous because this puppet is going to have the paparazzi (you) tailing it all day.

Requirements: Make the puppet, give it a name, a story why the paparazzi are interested in it and take pictures of the puppet all day. Post the story and pictures with captions. The pictures should be like 'a day in the life of'.

Hint: Think- US Weekly, In Touch, and Star.

7/14/2007: Marianne Assigns "Paper Planes" to Nathan

Make different model paper airplanes and fly them for distance records.
Requirements: You will need to make different model paper airplanes and record their distance. I don't know how many different models there are but try to get a good variety and plenty of pictures or recordings. Let us know which ones fly best and which ones are useless.

7/12/2007: Stephen Assigns "Print It!" To Marianne

You must create a fake, sensational newspaper today.
You must design and create a two or more page fake, sensational newspaper with ridiculous stories in it. Refer to The Onion online fake newspaper for ideas. Please provide us with images, scans, whatever so that we can see and read your paper.

7/4/2007: Stephen Assigns "Digg This!" To Nathan

Today you must sign up on Digg.com and starting digging some stories.
Requirements: Being a good net citizen, I like to show people places where they can get the full experience of the internet. This is very much like Brad's StumbleUpon task, however you will be looking at a slightly different website. First of all, you must go to digg.com and sign up for an account. Then you must visit the following two pages:
Most Popular News Stories In The Last Week
Most Popular Videos In The Last Week
Look thoroughly through those stories and use your account to "digg" at least 10 of them and then link to your favorite ten stories or videos in your post.

7/3/2007: Marianne Assigns "Slogan Slinger" To Stephen

Today you’re going to purchase items with famous slogan lines and as they are scanned at the store, say them to the cashier.
Requirements: A list of national products are given below, the slogan for those products are in parenthesis next to it. You need to shop for these products and then get in line to check out. As each item is passed over the scanner you need to say the slogan that goes with the product to the cashier. You need to describe the cashier’s reaction, the reaction of the people around you and what everyone said. A video would be great but will settle for audio and pictures.

Campbell’s Soup (M’mm Good)
Kraft Macaroni N Cheese (It’s the cheesiest)
Frosted Flakes (They’re Grrreat!)
Bounty (The Quicker Picker Upper)
Alka Seltzer (Plop Plop Fizz Fizz Oh What A Relief It Is)
Calgon (Calgon Take Me Away)
Rice Krispies (Snap! Crackle! Pop!)
M&M’s (The chocolate melts in your mouth not in your hands.)
Kool-Aide (Hey Kool-Aide!)
Milk (Got Milk?)
Almond Joy/Mounds (Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t)
Sure (Raise your hand if you’re sure)
You can take two of the given off the list but you need to add two of your own back on because you need to do a total of twelve products.

7/2/2007: Stephen Assigns "Futile Fishing" To Marianne

You must go fishing in places where there are no fish to catch.
Requirements: You must go to three different locations in public that have water, but no fish and then go fishing there. Some examples: Mudpuddles, water fountains, public swimming pools, etc. If possible, try to use actual equipment and provide either video or pictures.

7/2/2007: Brad Assigns "When I Was Your Age" To ?

You task is to find out, either by interviewing an older person or doing some research online (or both and comparing what you find out), the price of bread, gas, milk, cars, and clothes in the 1940's.

6/26/2007: Marianne Assigns"Secret Admirer" to Nathan

Today you need to pick someone either at work or wherever and be their secret admirer.

Requirements: It’s always nice to know you’re appreciated and even nicer when it’s anonymous. Today you need to let someone know how much they are appreciated by being their secret admirer. You can write notes, leave little gifts, or do one of their dreaded job requirements without them knowing who you are. Take pictures of the gifts, write description of the notes you left and tell us about your day. Tell us who you picked and why.

6/25/2007: Stephen Assigns "Artistic Fruit Explosions" To Marianne

You must create an artistic video of fruit exploding.
Requirements: Basically, find the highest building that you can get permission to use, get a bunch of fruits: apples, melons, etc., then drop them off the building. Someone with a camera or a still camera should be filming a close up view of the fruit hitting the ground. You should then edit all of your footage into an artistic video showing the fruit exploding in slow motion and set it to the Blue Danube Waltz as the music for the video. All you need to do is post the video and perhaps a description of the experience.

6/25/2007: Marianne Assigns "That's So Pizza" to ?

Today you need to misuse words and mixed metaphors all day.

Requirements: While talking to people today, you need to purposely use words incorrectly in sentences and use mixed-up metaphors. Technically they don’t have to be metaphors. They can be famous quotes, old sayings, similes, or whatever… just so we can recognize what it was supposed to be Something like: “When life gives you lemons be as gentle as a lamb.” Or “You look like you’re having a bad day. Can I help smack the dirt out of your eye?” You need to do 10 total and will have to be creative in how you’re going to capture this for us to see or hear because video or audio would be nice. A full description of your 10 conversations needs to be posted as well.
Have an open the door and close the window day!

6/21/2007: Todd & Allison Assign "Grocery Scattergories" To Brad & Marianne

Ok, this is Allison's idea and a brilliant one at that!

This is called "Grocery Scattergories" and what you have to do is go to your local grocery store and take pictures of as many items as you can that start with a particular letter (you will get credit for either the name of item itself or the Brand name). For example: If the letter is "C", then Cereal would count as one point and "Count Chocula" as another point.
Now, if you both happen to get the same item, then they cancel each other out and noone is awarded a point for the item.

The person with the most points wins! The letter that you need to find is.... "T"!

Good luck!

6/19/2007: Stephen & Tyson Assign "Iron Chef" To Todd & Allison

You must compete against each other "Iron Chef style" in a cooking competition.
Requirements: Hopefully you have both seen the TV show "Iron Chef" before, but if not, there here is a bit of a back story for you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_chef
For each of you: Your job is to create 4 dishes that are made from the ingredient of the day. You will create a starter/appetizer, 2 entrees, and a dessert. You must then "plate" and present these dishes to three people. They must then evaluate each dish, one by one. You need to provide video or photo evidence of the cooking, the final plated results, and the evaluation process. The more that you can show us, the better chance you have of winning the battle. If you cannot post video, you need extensive photos and full descriptions of the judges' evaluation of your food. If you have never seen an episode of "Iron Chef", then I strongly suggest that you watch one if at all possible to get a feel for what goes on. Once you have posted, Tyson and I will choose a champion. Without further ado, the ingredient of the day is: Corn.

6/15/2007: Stephen Assigns "Sportgy" To ? & ?

Between the two of you, you must compete in 20 different sports.
Now, remember, this is between two of you and you have two days. It doesn't have to be split evenly 10-10, but the person who does less, has to do at least 7. When you participate in the sports, if there is a specific "place" or "field of play" that the sport takes place on, then you must do it there. Don't just go out and do it in your front yard or something like that, unless it would normally be done there. You can choose from the following list and you must photograph or video (preferably) yourself for each one.
The "Sports":
Basketball
Baseball
Football
Soccer
Golf
Hockey
Field Hockey
Lacrosse
Tennis
Bowling
Darts
Putt Putt
Billiards
Swimming
Sprinting
Javelin Throw
Volleyball
Badminton
Curling
Handball
Racquet Ball
Cricket
Ping Pong
Croquet
Skateboarding
Cycling
Rugby
Ultimate Frisbee
Kickball
Dodgeball
Skeeball
Skeet Shooting
Air Hockey
The Caber Toss
Fencing
Baseketball
Boxing
Fishing
Wrestling
Competitive Eating
Motocross
Skiing
Shuffleboard
Diving
Horseback Riding
Chicken (Dodging Cars At The Last Second)
Russian Roulette

The makers/owners/people involved with Rutless are not responsible if the people who do this task get hurt or die. So be careful!

6/12/2007: Marianne Assigns “There’s A New Sheriff in Town” to Brad

There’s a shortage on superheros these days and we need you Brad.

Requirements: You need to make a costume, come up with a superhero name, and your superhuman abilities. You need to show us your heroism by helping someone in need while in your costume, using your superhuman abilities, telling them the name of their gallant champion. Capturing your kindly act on video is a must but as I said before I don’t know who can and can’t do video, if you aren’t capable of video then pictures will do. Posting to your inferior public how you became this superhero, what it’s like being a superhero, and the reaction to your superheroism is imperative as we will never be exalted like you.

6/6/2007: Stephen Assigns "Stumble Upon Gasm" To Brad

Your task is to download the Stumbleupon toolbar and stumble upon and positively rate 50 sites. You must then post the top 10 sites that you found via SU.
I just found out today that I made the "Top Stumblers" page of Stumbleupon.com, one of the best websites ever conceived. Essentially, you download a toolbar to your web browser and you click a button and are sent to a random webpage within one of your specified areas of interest. Then you rate whether or not you liked that page and repeat. Your task is to go to Stumbleupon.com, download the toolbar, and sign up for an account. During the registration process you will be asked to check areas of interest. Be VERY liberal with this. Some areas that seem uninteresting are the most interesting ones. Once you begin to clicking the stumble button, you must rate the sites that you visit a thumbs up or thumbs down. Give it a thumbs up if you want to see more sites similar to that site and vice versa. If you go to your profile, you will see it lists your total pages liked. This is the number that you need to get to 50. Once it is there, your stumbling is done, unless of course you want to do more, feel free, that is kind of the point. Anyways, once you've "liked" 50 pages, choose the top 10 of those. In your rutless post, post the top ten links you stumbled upon and a little blurb about each and why you liked it. You must also post a link to your Stumbleupon profile.

6/5/2007: Marianne Assigns "Surprise! It's Your Birthday" To Stephen

Today you’re going to throw yourself a surprise birthday party.
Requirements: You need to decorate, get yourself presents (wrapped), a card, and a cake with candles. When you walk in the door, throw on the lights and yell “Surprise!” You have to actually look surprised in the video that’s required. Also in the video you need to show yourself opening the presents, singing “Happy Birthday” to yourself, and blowing out the candles. Inviting people to your surprise party is an option, not knowing the people you’re inviting, is even better. Providing a lot of party energy and enthusiasm is a must, after all, it is your birthday. Happy Birthday and I hope you get something you want.
P.S. I don’t know who is capable of video and who is not. If you’re not than pictures and audio will do.

5/31/2007: Marianne Assigns "Mailbox Critic" to ToddO

You are to find six random mailboxes. Attached to three of these mailboxes you will leave a note describing why you love their mailbox…and attached to the other three mailboxes you will leave a note saying why you don’t like their mailbox.
Requirements: You must either write a copy of your six letters and then post them or video/audio of yourself reading the note as you place it on the boxes. The letters must be fastened where the homeowner will find it. And you must either have pictures or video of you with each mailbox.

5/30/2007: Stephen Assigns "Homemade Auto" To Marianne

Your task is to build a homemade automobile, using items from a list that I will supply you.
Requirements: You must build an automobile out of the list of items that I am going to supply you. It needs to be as life-sized as you can get it. You must try to make it really function as much as possible, though I think we'll all be happy if you can just make it look halfway decent and maybe roll. You need to fully describe the process of building the auto and what you used. You also need to provide plenty of pictures of the construction process and the final product and, if possible, a video of you trying to drive it. Here are the items you can use. The number in parentheses to the right indicates how many of that item that you can use. You can use any tools to alter these materials.

A bed mattress (1)
A sheet of plywood (2)
A (up to) 10 foot 2x4 (8)
A lawn chair (2)
A 5 gallon bucket (4)
A broomstick (2)
A metal bar (up to) 10 foot long (2)
An old tire (4)
An action figure (1)
A frisbee (4)
A shoe (2)
A backpack (1)
A banana peel (2)
A sofa (1)
A kitchen chair (2)
A rug (1)
A taxidermied animal (17)
A used syringe (48)
A venetian blind (2)
A piece of plexiglass (2)
An umbrella (6)
A microphone stand (2)
A screw (50)
A nail (50)
A shrunken voodoo head (50)
A painting (1)
A vase (4)
A potted plant (2)
A garden hose (1)
A length of rope (up to) 100 feet long (1)
A box of dental floss (2)
A roll of electrical tape (10)
A tube of caulk (10)
A Tim Duncan rookie card (1)
A printed copy of this task (1)
An 8.5x11 sheet of paper (500)
An old telephone (1)
An empty medicine bottle (40)
A bottle of glue of any kind (2)
A coupon for Shake And Bake (1)
A packet of mild sauce from Taco Bell (7500)
A leprechaun (1)
A box of lucky charms (2)
A four leaf clover (4)
A pot of gold (1)
A rainbow (1)
A trophy (4)
A door (2)
A window (4)
A titmouse (9)
A small length of white string (9)
A pack of firecrackers (9)

In addition, you may use 3 items not listed, but you can only use one of each of these items.

5/26/2007: Marianne Assigns "Mr. Owl Discovers The Truth" To ?

Today you’re going to help everyone answer the question: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Requirements: No cheating! If you bite, lose count, or suck instead of lick, you need to start all over. You need to have variables of course, so use the average of three. That means you will have to lick three suckers without any oops. Tell us in full detail how many suckers you used, why you needed to start over and of course how many licks it takes. Pictures or video would be nice but not required.

5/18/2007: Stephen Assigns "What Chu' Talkin' Bout Rutless?" To ?

You must pretend to have an unhealthy obsession with Gary Coleman for the day.
Requirements: You must play the role of someone who is obsessed with Gary Coleman until at least 4:30pm. You must do the following things, at a minimum, to meet this requirement: 1 - You must try to add Gary Coleman into all of your conversations today. Talk about him and use his signature catch phrase "What chu' talkin' bout -insert name here- ?" as much as possible. In your post, describe ways in which you worked Gary Coleman and his phrase into your day to day conversations. You are also welcome to post audio for this, if you are able. 2 - You must set your computer wallpaper to a picture of Gary Coleman and leave it set as such until the time is up. Take a picture of your computer with this new wallpaper and show it in your post. 3 - You must create a collage of images, articles, etc. related to Gary Coleman on either your office or bedroom wall. You need to use at least 15 such items in your collage. Leave the collage up until the time is up. Take a picture of the collage and show it in your post. 4 - Finally, we want to hear you say it. You must record yourself saying "What chu' talkin' bout Willis?" and post the audio file in your post. Here is the wikipedia article for Gary Coleman, just to get you started: Gary Coleman Wikipedia Article.

5/17/2007: Todd Assigns "Jedi Mind Trick" To Brad

I'm in a Star Wars mood, so... Bradi Wan, Today your task is to be a Jedi.

If anyone asks, your name today is Bradi Wan Kenubi. You should use a Jedi mind trick as often as possible.
If the waitress tells you your bill is $5.00, convince her that it's really $3.50 and so on.
You should tell of at least 3 definite times that you used the mind trick on a weak minded fool. (Insert Jabba laugh)

Take this as far as you want, but make sure to take pictures and or video of your mind tricks in progress if at all possible.
Give a recount of what people thought of your new name and how they responded to your mind tricks!

..and may the force be with you!

5/16/2007: Nathan Assigns "Talk To The Hand" To Todd

Todd, your task is to literally talk to your hand. Use a hand puppet that you make or a drawing on your hand with eyes and a mouth. You will need to talk to your hand while at work just like you would a fellow co-worker or a friend. If some one ask who you are talking to you will need to introduce them and let them talk to the hand.
Requirements: You will need to provide video or picture proof of your hand puppet, and at least three instances, at least 1 min. long, where you talk to the hand (with one being with someone else talking to the hand). You need to give it a name, and a voice to go along with it. I am going to leave this wide open to when you talk to your hand as long as it is at work. Have fun with this one and remember "Talk To The Hand".

5/12/2007: Brad Assigns "Greeting Card Pitch" To ?

Your task for Monday is as follows: You must create at least three different greeting cards (each for a different holiday or occasion). You can create these digitally or use glue and construction paper. I prefer the ones that have a pop-up when you open them. Take these three or more masterpieces to your local card shop (like Hallmark) and pitch them to the employees. If you can, take pictures of the experience. Post how they reacted, maybe how other customers reacted behind you in line. Also, if they actually have a line of communication for card submissions, try and submit them officially. Oh, and post the cards or pics of them for us to read.

5/11/2007: Stephen Assigns "Canine Cuisine" To Brad

You must carry a book around with you all day. However, I have made a special cover for the book, which you must put on it first.
Requirements: I have prepared a book cover for you. You must click on the image below and download the full size image of the book cover. Then you must print it out and put it on top of a real book. Attach it to the book using tape, glue, putty, whatever, as long as it looks good and stays attached. For the duration of the day, from 9:00am to 7:00pm, you must carry the book with you everywhere you go. The front cover of the book needs to be displayed prominently at all times. When people ask you about the book, you can give them any other reason besides the true one. In your post, please describe the day in full: curious looks you got, questions or comments people made to you, how carrying the book around affected you in anyway. You must also post pictures of the assembled book and you carrying the book in public. If you so desire, you can post video and/or audio as well. Have fun!

Click the image below to download the full size, printable version of the cover:

5/10/07: Allison Assigns "Pee-Wee's Playhouse" To Stephen

Stephen, since you are taking Brandon's place due to his lack of wanting-to-do-rutlessness, I'm going to give you a pretty easy task. I'm sure since you are a child of the 1980's, you watched Pee-Wee's playhouse on TV. If you remember correctly, Pee-Wee always had a secret word of the day. Every time that secret word was said in the episode, everyone around had to scream. Your task is to pick a secret word and every time someone says it during the day, you must scream. Since I'll be at work with you tomorrow, you have a choice of posting what this word is ahead of time, or not.

Requirements: Try to capture video of yourself doing the task. If not, I'll be there and I can vouch for you. I'm looking forward to hearing you scream. :)

5/9/2007: Stephen Assigns "Office Olympics" To Allison

You must host an impromptu office olympics, which has to consist of three or more events.
Requirements: Since you are going to be stuck at work all day tomorrow, let's try to make it a bit more interesting. This task is inspired by an episode of The Office, my current favorite show on TV. You must come up with 3 or more events that people could compete in, but they must be office themed. It could be throwing paper clips in a cup from long distance, or yardstick pole vaulting (probably not a good idea to do that one). You need to get at least two other people to compete in the events along with you and you should award homemade gold, silver, and bronze medals for each event. As for what you need to post. Obviously, describe the office olympics thoroughly: What were the events, who participated, who won, etc. You should also make your absolute best effort to post video of the events. If not, then at least post a lot of photos. Have fun and literally break a leg!

5/8/2007: Todd Assigns "Van Gohn" To Stephen

Knowing your creative side, Stephen, this task should fit you to a tee. Your task, should you choose to accept it, will be to open an eBay auction that will last 1 day (if you do not have the 1 day listing option, then a 3 day listing is OK but will not end before the task is over). You will be auctioning off your very own digital creation, your interpretation of a Van Gogh painting. You may select any painting by Van Gogh and do your best to create something with the same style. You may spend no more than 30 minutes creating your “masterpiece”, we don’t want it to look too good.

In your listing, you must gush about your love for Van Gogh and how you’d like to one day be just like him. Allude to the fact that you are even willing to cut off your ear for inspiration if you must (especially if your masterpiece doesn’t sell).

At the end of the auction, you will send the winning bidder the full-sized JPEG of your
creation (which happens to be the exact image that you are using in the listing).
You should take a screenshot of your initial listing and any other relevant emails, bid
questions, etc. Describe why you chose the painting you chose to “copy” and give a brief
summary of the acivities on the listing by end of the day.

5/7/2007: Nathan Assigns "Old McDonald" to Todd

From 9:00am to 5:00pm tomorrow you must act like a different animal on the hour every hour.Requirements: You must physically act and make noises like a different animal every hour on the hour and film yourself doing the act. Post both the movies and your experience of the events. If you can get peoples reaction to your gestures that will help us know how good of an actor you really are. A couple of examples of animals might be a chicken, cow, or monkey. Have fun doing this and remember that the more creative you get the more comments the you will see.

5/5/2007: Stephen Assigns "Chalk Body Outlines" To ?

You must draw 5 chalk body outlines in unusual places in public.
Requirements: You need to go buy some large white chalk (like kids play with in the driveway) and go out in public and draw 5 chalk body outlines (like police draw around dead people) in various, unusual spots. And when I say unusual, that can mean an unlikely place for someone to die or an impossible place for a body to be laying, such as on a wall. At a minimum you need to take 5 photos of the 5 outlines, which need to prove they were drawn in public and in unusual spots. Preferably, take additional photos to document the entire experience. If possible, get photos of people's reactions. Optionally, you can also use white spray paint so that you can make use of more locations where chalk won't stick. Describe the experience, reactions, etc. and include the photos in your post.
Example of a chalk body outline:

Additional Discussion: This is the first task for Rutless Season 2. It is not yet known who will perform this task. This will be decided when the random drawing is done on Sunday to determine the order of the cast members for Monday thru Saturday. The person who draws Monday will have to do this task or take a task from The Refusal Pool, but at a Penalty.

6/3/2006: Seth Assigns "Race Car" To ? And ?

This task in fact has nothing to do with a race car but everything to do with words. Palindrome: A word, phrase, verse, or sentence that reads the same backward or forward. Person and Person, your task is to find 30 palindromes, and post them. This work can be split up however you like, be it 15 a piece or not. And please don't just get palindromes off the net, try to come up with some creative ones yourselves.
Requirements: Post all of the palindromes that you come up with.

6/2/2006: Tyson Assigns "Use Heroin For Your First Time" To Seth

Ok, so this task has abolsutely nothing to do with heroin or drugs or anything like that. I just wanted to put that as the title. Honestly, I've been thinking on and off for the past hour trying to come up with something for you to do. I think I've finally come up with something. Hopefully, you feel up to doing this. Seth, your task should you choose to accept it, is to write the lyrics for a Rutless.com theme song. I'm not going to put a limit on how long or how short it has to be, but hopefully if you do it you will put a little thought into it and make it reasonable. You don't have to do anything over the top by any means. Just a little tune. Maybe, hopefully, sometime in the future we will have Stephen sing the song. hehe. Well, have fun!

6/1/2006: Stephen Assigns "Options" To Tyson

I've been saving this task up for awhile now and it's time to unleash it.
You will be given 5 options. The most risky option will also be the least time consuming, while the least risky option will be the most time consuming.
When you complete one of the options, your task for the day is complete.
Option 1: High Risk / Very Quick
Film yourself hitting a real golf ball inside of your house. You must use a driver and must swing as hard as you would during a normal drive on the course. It must make impact with a hard object. Whatever happens, happens.
Option 2: Medium/High Risk / Quick
Film yourself riding a bicycle full speed into a pine tree that is at least 5 feet tall. You may use a ramp if you would like. You can't hold back on the speed though.
Option 3: Medium Risk / Average Speed
Shake up a canned mountain dew or sun drop for 20 minutes. Film yourself opening the can quickly, with the can suspended over the driver's seat of your car.
Option 4: Medium/Low Risk / Slow
Sit as close as you can to the TV and watch a home shopping channel for 40 minutes. Take pictures and post some.
Option 5: Low Risk / Very Slow
Go out with a camera and take pictures of wildlife for one hour. Make a flickr set of the ten best pics.
Requirements: Post your reactions to each option and then tell us which you chose and post the required elements of that option.

5/31/2006: Brandon Assigns "Fake Black Eye" To Stephen

Stephen your task is to make it look like you where in a fight last night. Try to make one of your eyes dark or both. I would use makeup if I could but use what ever you can. Also have a good story if anyone does think it's real.
Requirements: Please take some pics, I don't think videos will be needed unless you get a real blackeye. Have Fun.